“I feel overwhelmed by my responsibilities”
We’ve all felt it—that crushing weight of responsibilities piling up, leaving you wondering how you’ll ever stay afloat. Whether it’s work deadlines, family commitments, or the endless mental to-do list, overwhelm doesn’t just take up space in your schedule—it takes up space in your mind too.
It’s the kind of feeling that can leave you paralysed, disconnected, and questioning whether you’re capable of handling it all. But here’s the thing: overwhelm is not a sign of weakness—it’s a signal. A signal that something needs to change, whether that’s slowing down, recalibrating, or rethinking how you approach life’s demands.
In this article, we’ll explore the psychology of overwhelm, why it happens, and practical strategies to help you regain balance, clarity, and a sense of control.
Why Do We Feel Overwhelmed?
At its core, overwhelm is a natural stress response. When your brain perceives that the demands placed on you outweigh your resources—be it time, energy, or support—it goes into overdrive. The result? You feel like you’re drowning in responsibilities, even if nothing has tangibly changed.
Psychologically, overwhelm often stems from how we approach our responsibilities and expectations. Common causes include:
Cognitive Overload: Taking in too much information or juggling too many tasks at once can overwhelm your brain’s capacity to process and prioritise. This leaves you feeling scattered and unable to focus.
Unrealistic Expectations: Often self-imposed, these are the beliefs that you should be able to handle everything perfectly or meet impossible standards. These expectations add pressure and fuel feelings of inadequacy when you fall short.
Lack of Boundaries: When we fail to set and maintain clear boundaries, we let others’ demands consume our time and energy, leaving little room for ourselves. This can look like:
• Saying yes when you mean no.
• Constantly prioritising others’ needs over your own.
• Feeling guilty for taking breaks or setting limits.
Perfectionism: Perfectionism feeds overwhelm by making us feel like nothing we do is ever enough. It can lead to:
• Procrastination (waiting for the “perfect” time or outcome).
• Overthinking and reworking tasks unnecessarily.
• Self-criticism that paralyses progress.
Overcommitment: Taking on too many responsibilities spreads us thin, leaving no space to recharge. Overcommitment often stems from a fear of letting others down or missing opportunities, but it leads to:
• Burnout and exhaustion.
• Neglecting your own needs.
• Feeling resentful toward your commitments.
These factors often interact and compound each other. For instance, perfectionism can drive overcommitment, while a lack of boundaries makes it harder to say no to tasks that stretch you too thin. Together, they create a cycle of stress and paralysis, where even the simplest tasks feel insurmountable.
The Overlap: How These Three Interact
These causes often compound each other. For instance, perfectionism might lead you to overcommit because you fear saying no, and lack of boundaries allows others to take advantage of your time. Addressing them together creates lasting relief.
The Science of Overwhelm
When you’re overwhelmed, your body triggers a stress response: the release of cortisol and adrenaline. These hormones prepare you for “fight or flight,” but when the stress becomes chronic, they can impair decision-making, focus, and even memory.
In fact, studies show that overwhelm can shrink the brain's prefrontal cortex, the part responsible for planning and problem-solving. It’s no wonder that when you’re overwhelmed, even deciding what to have for dinner can feel like solving a complex puzzle.
The good news? Overwhelm is manageable. With the right tools, you can interrupt the stress response, regain clarity, and feel back in control.
9 Practical Steps to Reduce Overwhelm
1. Validate the FeelingIt’s tempting to push through overwhelm or dismiss it as “just stress.” But validating how you feel is the first step to moving forward. Acknowledge your emotions with self-compassion:
“It’s okay to feel this way. I’m human.”
“I’m doing the best I can with what I have.”
By giving yourself permission to feel overwhelmed, you take the first step toward addressing it without judgment.
2. Brain Dump and PrioritiseCognitive overload thrives when your mind is juggling too much at once. Take 5–10 minutes to write down everything swirling in your head—tasks, worries, or even random thoughts. Then categorise your list using the 3D method:
• Do it: Urgent and important tasks.
• Delegate it: Tasks others can help with.
• Defer it: Non-urgent tasks for later.
This reduces mental clutter and helps you focus on what truly matters.
3. Start Small with BoundariesA lack of boundaries often leads to overcommitment and emotional exhaustion. Start with one manageable step:
Say no to one request this week. Use simple scripts like, “I’d love to help, but I can’t commit right now.”
Block off “non-negotiable” time in your schedule for yourself, even if it’s just 15 minutes.
Small steps create momentum toward protecting your time and energy.
4. Challenge Unrealistic ExpectationsUnrealistic expectations often set us up to feel overwhelmed before we even start. To challenge this:
• Ask yourself, “Is this expectation fair or achievable?”
• Reframe mistakes as part of growth, not failure.
• Adjust your goals to focus on progress, not perfection.
5. Let Go of PerfectionismPerfectionism fuels overwhelm by demanding too much of you. Free yourself by:
Redefining success: Shift your focus from perfect to good enough.
Using time limits: Give yourself a set time to complete a task and stick to it.
Celebrating progress: Acknowledge small wins rather than focusing on flaws.
6. Create Breathing Space in Your DayOverwhelm thrives in a packed schedule. Build intentional pauses to reset and recharge:
• Start your day with 5 minutes of journaling or quiet reflection.
• Take short breaks between tasks to refocus.
• Schedule 15 minutes of downtime as non-negotiable.
7. Reframe Cognitive Overload with SimplicityWhen faced with too much information or too many tasks, simplify by:
• Breaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps.
• Choosing one priority to focus on at a time.
• Limiting distractions (e.g., turning off notifications while working).
This clarity reduces mental strain and helps you regain focus.
8. Prioritise Your CommitmentsOvercommitment often stems from fear of letting others down. To regain control:
Evaluate your to-do list: Identify tasks that align with your values and let go of anything that doesn’t.
Practice saying no: Protect your time and energy by turning down non-essential tasks.
Treat rest as essential: Schedule downtime like any other priority.
9. Start with One Actionable StepOverwhelm can make it hard to know where to begin. Instead of trying to tackle everything at once, ask yourself:
“What’s one small thing I can do right now?”
Whether it’s completing one task, taking a deep breath, or stepping away for a moment, starting small helps you build momentum.
When to Seek Support
Sometimes, overwhelm goes beyond what we can manage on our own. If you’re consistently feeling weighed down, unable to cope, or struggling to find relief, it may be time to seek support.
Working with a coach, therapist, or hypnotherapist can help you:
Gain clarity on your priorities.
Reframe unhelpful thought patterns.
Develop personalised strategies to lighten the load.
A Gentle Reminder
Overwhelm doesn’t define you—it’s a temporary state, not a permanent identity. By taking small, intentional steps, you can move through it and reclaim a sense of balance and control.
Let’s Work Through It Together
If you’re ready to create a plan to lighten your load, I’d love to help. Coaching or hypnotherapy can provide the tools and support you need to manage responsibilities with clarity, confidence, and ease.
Dive Deeper: Further Learning
Book Recommendations "Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle"
By Emily Nagoski and Amelia NagoskiWhy It’s Relevant: A practical, science-backed guide to managing stress and breaking free from overwhelm.
"Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less"
By Greg McKeownWhy It’s Relevant: This book offers strategies to focus on what truly matters, helping you simplify and prioritise.
"The Gifts of Imperfection"
By Brené BrownWhy It’s Relevant: Encourages readers to let go of perfectionism and live a more wholehearted life.
"Atlas of the Heart"
By Brené BrownWhy It’s Relevant: Explores human emotions and helps readers navigate feelings of overwhelm and stress with clarity and compassion.
"The 5 Second Rule"
By Mel RobbinsWhy It’s Relevant: Offers a simple strategy to overcome procrastination and take immediate action, perfect for managing overwhelm.
